Sastow Law & Mediation

Experienced Online Mediation Services

Experience & Credentials

Experience and training are critical to helping clients achieve a balanced and solid agreement.

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I began mediating in 1996, before most attorneys in New York had ever heard of mediation as a way to amicably, peacefully and equitably resolve conflict. With no employment possibilities in mediation in those days, I decided to get experience litigating, to learn what my future clients would experience one day when I opened my own mediation practice.

So, during the 10 years that I litigated, I mediated everywhere I could – as a volunteer for the court system, at community mediation centers, etc. Then, in 2007, I opened my own private mediation and collaborative law practice, focusing on Family Law, Divorce and Elder Care and Siblings Decisions Mediations. Through the years, I have been accepted and selected onto several prestigious mediation and arbitration panels and have lectured and trained new mediators extensively. Click any title below to learn more about my experience and accolades in the industry.


Sheryl-Anne Sastow

Rated by Super Lawyers

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best attorney
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NYS Council for Divorce Mediation

Sheryl-Anne’s Accomplishments

Awards

  • 2020 Best of Great Neck Award in the Divorce and Elder Mediator category
  • Accredited Divorce Mediator – New York Council of Divorce Mediation, 2013
  • New York Metro Super Lawyers list – top 5% of lawyers who exhibit excellence in practice.
  • 10 Best Female Attorneys in New York – American Institute of Family Law Attorneys
  • Lawyers with Distinction – Recognizing Excellence in The Practice of Law: Top 10% of Lawyers in the U.S.A.
  • The Lawyer’s Choice Award Winner – Top Faculty for the Nassau County Bar Association

Esteemed Panels and Accreditations

Divorce Mediation
  • One of the Few Accredited Divorce Mediator: New York State Council of Divorce Mediation (2013)
  • Divorce Mediator Panel: Supreme Court New York County (2019)
  • Esteemed Masters Divorce Mediator Panel: Supreme Court Nassau County (2016)
  • Commercial Mediation Panel: Supreme Court Nassau County (2013)
  • Divorce Mediation Panel: Nassau County Bar Association (2017)
  • Commercial Mediation Panel: Nassau County Bar Association (2017)
  • Divorce Mediation Panel: Supreme Court Nassau County (2008),
  • Divorce Mediation Panel: Community Mediation Center, Queens (2007)
  • Private Divorce and Elder Care and Adult Sibling Decision Mediations and Collaborative Divorces (2007)
  • Divorce Mediations Within Law Firm (2007)
Elder Care/Guardianship Mediation
  • Elder Care/Guardianship Panel: Nassau County Bar Association (2017)
Other
  • Arbitrator: Financial Industry Regulation Association (FINRA) (2007)
  • Arbitrator: Small Claims, Contract Disputes and No-Fault cases, Nassau County District Court (2006)
  • Early Neutral Evaluator and Mediator Personal Injury Panel: Supreme Court Nassau County (2006)
  • Court Evaluator: Guardianship Petition Panel, Supreme Court Nassau and Queens (2003 to present)
  • Matrimonial Litigation (2003-2007)
  • Other Litigation Experience: Personal Injury, Products Liability (1998 – 2008)

Presentations, Interviews, and Speaking Engagements

Instructor/Trainer
  • Divorce Mediation Training: New York County Lawyers Association (2020)
  • Online Remote Technology for Lawyers, Judges and Mediators: AmLaw 100 Lawfirms (2020)
  • Online Mediation: New York County Lawyers Dispute Resolution Committee (2020)
  • Attorney Online Remote Technology –NYC, CLE Seminar (2015)
  • Alternate Methods to Resolve Conflicts: Nassau County Bar Association (CLE) (2014)
  • The GET and New York State Law, Nassau County Bar Association (CLE) – (2013)
  • Understanding Your Clients: Lost in Translation: Ethical Issues in Representing Non-English Speaking or Foreign Clients:  Nassau County Bar Assoc., CLE (2013)
  • Alternatives to Litigation; – Continuing Education, (CLE) (2012)
Presenter
  • Online Mediation: Nassau County Bar Association (2020)
  • Domestic Violence and Divorce: Mediation New York State Counsel on Divorce Mediation: (2018)
  • Divorce Mediation and Domestic Violence: Pros and Cons and Ethics – NYSCDM
  • Downstate Symposium-CLE (2016)
  • Mediating Disputes – Plainview-Old Bethpage (2015)
  • Making the Choice: Mediation or Litigation Nassau County Bar Association: (2014)
  • Divorce Mediation and Collaborative Divorce – Meeting Presentation, NYC (2014)
  • Alternatives to Litigation: Nassau County Bar Association, Continuing Legal Education: (2011)
  • Different Methods of Divorcing, Hadassah Organization, Attorney Chapter (2013)
  • Alternatives to Divorce Litigation,” Rotary Club – Williston Park, New York: , May 2013
  • Divorcing Smoothly – Rotary Club (2012)
  • The Benefits of Divorce Mediation, Rotary Club – Roslyn New York, March 2013.
  • There is a Way to Divorce Peacefully – Rotary Club (2012)
Speaking Engagements
  • Benefits of Mediation For High Net Worth Clients: (2016)
  • The benefits of Mediation: FIT TV (Families in Transition), Cablevision Channel 21, (2010)
  • What is Collaborative Practice?: FIT TV (Families in Transition), Cablevision Ch, 21, (2010)
  • Divorce Mediation & Collaborative Law, 90:3 FM radio Series, Law You Should Know, (2010)
  • Alternatives to Divorce Litigation: 90.3 FM radio series, Law You Should Know (2008)

Education

  • J.D., cum laude (1997): Touro College, Jacob D. Fuchsberg Law Center, Central Islip, NY
  • Bar Admissions: 
    • New York State Bar (1998)
    • Federal Bar—Eastern and Southern Districts (2000)
  • B.A., Psychology, summa cum laude (1983): State University of New York, Albany, New York, and Hebrew University, Jerusalem, Israel. 
  • Honors: Phi Beta Kappa and Signum Ludis Society for Academic Excellence

Mediation Training

I continue to learn and train along with my 20+ years of training and experience. There is always something to learn with the Association of Conflict Resolution, the New York State Council on Divorce Mediation, Association of Divorce Financial Planning, Family and Divorce Mediation and other Dispute Resolution Associations.

Core Mediation Training

  • Advanced Elder Care and Sibling Mediation, Elder Decisions, (2016) – 21.5 hours MA, approved by NYS Part 146,
  • Advanced Divorce Mediation and Collaborative Training: (2014), Mosten Mediation and Collaborative Training
  • Advanced Divorce Mediation training, (January – June, 2013), Center for Mediation and Training, NYC
  • Advanced Mediation Training, (September 2013), New York State Council on Divorce Mediation
  • Advanced Divorce Mediation: (January, March 2012), Center for Mediation and Training, NYC, NY
  • Advanced Divorce Mediation (September 2011): New York State Counsel for Mediation, Saratoga, NY
  • Advanced Mediation Training (September 2010): New York State Counsel for Divorce Mediation, Saratoga, NY
  • Divorce Financial Planning: Association for Divorce Financial Planning (2009)
  • Commercial Mediation (March 2011), Nassau County Bar Association
  • Advanced Divorce Mediation (October 2010), Community Mediation Services, Inc., Queens, NY
  • Custody and Visitation Mediation Skills (October 2009), Community Mediation Service, Inc., Queens, NY
  • Community Mediation Skills (October 2009), Community Mediation Service, In., Queens, NY
  • The Art and Future of Mediation (December 2008), Dan Weitz, presenter—Office of ADR and Court Improvement Programs, NY Unified Court System.
  • Basic Training in Divorce Mediation (October – November 2007), Center for Mediation and Training, NYC
  • Early Neutral Evaluation and Mediation, (2008) Part 146 NYS
  • Domestic Violence (November 2007), Center for Mediation and Training, NYC
  • Representing Your Client in Mediation (May 2007), Suffolk County Bar Association
  • Mediation Training (1996), Eastern Suffolk BOCES

Elder Care & Adult Sibling Mediation

  • Certificate: Advanced Mediation Course: Elder and Family Mediation training July 2016 NYS, Part 146 approved

Collaborative Law Training

  • Advanced Collaborative Training, NYC (2011), New York Association of Collaborative Attorneys
  • Collaborative Divorce (2007 – 2008) Dan Weitz, presenter—Office of ADR and Court Improvement Programs, NY Unified Court System.

Neutral Evaluator Training

  • Part 146, Neutral Evaluation Skills Workshop (September 2008), Supreme Court, Nassau County; Dan Weitz, presenter—Office of ADR and Court Improvement Programs, NY Unified Court System

Arbitration Training

  • Arbitration Certification Training: FINRA, NYC (2007)

Positions

  • Chairperson of Downstate Symposium – New York Council Divorce Mediation (2016 – Present)
  • Master Mediator, Supreme Court, Nassau County (2016-Present)
  • Member – NY Family Law American Inn of Court (2015 – Present)
  • Mediation & Arbitration Panel – Nassau County Bar Association (2014 – Present)
  • Founding Member – Academy of Professional Family Mediators (2010 – Present)
  • Member Matrimonial Division – American Inns of Court (2016-Present)
  • Member Commercial Division – American Inns of Court (2010 – 2017)
  • Advanced Practitioner Member – Association for Conflict Resolution (2007 – Present)
  • Arbitrator – FINRA (2007 – Present)
  • Arbitrator – Nassau County District Court (2007 – Present)
  • Accredited Mediator – New York Council on Divorce Mediation (2007 – Present)
  • Member – New York County Bar Association (2007 – Present)
  • Certified Member – New York State Unified Court System (2001 – Present)
  • Alternate Dispute Resolution & Family Law Committee – Nassau County Bar Association (1998 – Present)

Publications and Blogs

  • Women In The Law – The National Law Review (2014)

    • Case study 1: Carole and Jack

    Jack had been having an affair. Carole found out. As far as she was concerned, their marriage was over.

    Neither of them wanted to talk about it. Actually, I still don’t know the nature of the affair or its length. But I did need to know the overall dynamics of the situation, to understand what was in their heads, since they’d stopped communicating with each other.

    The couple weren’t speaking

    The fact that he’d had an affair slipped out of Carole’s mouth. Then she clammed up. Resentment and anger were filling the room, but they didn’t want to talk about it. In cases like this, I sometimes find it’s essential to talk to them separately. I sometimes just say, “It would help me if I spoke to you individually.”

    Clients know they can speak to me separately. Our conversation will be private and confidential, unless they tell me it’s OK to share.

    If I can help her get past the anger, or at least put it aside momentarily, and acknowledge what she’s feeling, we’re likely to get to a resolution sooner.

    In this case, during the mediation, I said to Carole, “What I hear from the tone of your voice is that you’re very hurt. Is that right? Her acknowledging her emotional anguish was critical. For the first time, the injurer, Jack, didn’t hear, “You bastard, look what you’ve done.” Instead, he realized that he’d caused her a great deal of pain. In such circumstances, it’s not unusual for the injurer to respond—as Jack did—with "I didn’t mean to hurt you. It happened, and I feel terrible about it.”

    At last, a breakthrough

    I knew we could move forward.

    In this case, Carole and Jack had two kids under the age of 10. So we addressed the parenting plan first. Once we figured out access to the children, then we went to the financial stuff. It turns out that Jack had a substantial pension. He hadn’t realized that because it was earned during the marriage, it was considered a marital asset. The pension was so important to him that we worked out a solution in which Carole kept the house and received a lump sum of money. He kept his pension.

    No court would have created such a solution. Courts are not designed to be creative. They make decisions that have little to do with your life. Unlike how they would have felt at the end of a court process, at the end of the mediation process, this couple was pleased with their Agreement.

    Case study 2: Susan and Donald

    Susan and Donald had been working in the same business, but she was getting tired of it. Susan started taking courses so she could begin another independent business. Once she started to disassociate herself from the business somewhat, Donald told her not to come in any more.

    Their marriage deteriorated quickly. When it became obvious that they were splitting up, Susan told Donald that she wanted half of the business “My blood, sweat and tears are in that business,” she told him. “The only reason I didn’t come in was because you told me not to."

    In addition to half of the business, Susan wanted the house. Donald said that she had a rich grandmother in whose house she could live, plus a trust account. He maintained that he had nowhere to go.

    A shared bond: their own and each others' kids

    Both Susan and Donald had children from previous marriages.

    The kids really liked each other. So I had them focus on the fact that they didn’t want to hurt the children. They’d been living together for 15 years, and each child regarded the other as a parent. Both acknowledged that they had, indeed, been good parents to each other’s kids. So we definitely had some positive feelings to build on.

    Since the kids were now teenagers, we didn’t try to arrange a formal parenting plan. In fact, there are no legal rights or obligations to see an ex-spouse’s previous children—even though her kids called him “Dad,” and his kids called her “Mom”.

    I helped them understand that it was important for the kids to retain relationships with both of them, and not to be cut off, even though there was no legal obligation to do so. In fact, Donald had been paying for Susan’s college-aged child’s college expenses.

    Financial security concerns

    For this particular family, there were bonds that still existed. So parenting issues were the first subjects that we addressed. She was hesitant to get divorced because of the financial implications. I explained in private and joint meetings that there was common ground on which to begin building a settlement.

    Eventually, they negotiated an arrangement in which he continued to pay for her daughter’s tuition and college expenses. She, in turn, agreed to take less of the business than she had originally asked for.

    There’s no way a court would have enforced his paying for the tuition. The settlement truly was one borne of negotiation and compromise. It worked out well for them.

    Case study 3: Maria and Ed

    This is the type of case I see fairly often: A woman walks in. She’s tired of doing everything. She has spent her life working, and also taking care of the kids. Often one child is in college, and the woman wants a life of her own, now.

    The woman in cases like this is often strong, and in some cases, earns more money than her husband. Also it’s common for her husband to resist the divorce. In fact, he will only agree to a divorce if he makes sure he is financially secure. However, his sense of pride makes him unable to explain why he doesn’t want the divorce. In this case, Ed was embarrassed and depressed.

    Hidden fears

    I said to Ed, “I’m hearing that you don’t want the divorce, but I don’t have a sense of why. I see anger. I see body language indicating that you’re fearful. But I don’t understand what it is. Can you please help me understand?”

    That’s when Ed mentioned finances. Maria immediately said, "I’m not trying to hurt you." Maria’s parents had given her money. She said, “My parents really liked you, Ed. They would have wanted you to have some of it.”

    In Maria’s mind, she was paying her way out of her marriage. To her, this was a business decision and a logical one. She figured that the amount of money she would end up giving him was less than one third of what they would have blown on attorneys. She knew that if they went to court, there would be escalating conflict. And the divorce would take a far longer period of time. Maria decided to buy her freedom and keep the marital assets intact—for them, rather than give the money to attorneys.

    In 4 hours, we were done.

    Open for Business Online

    During COVID-19, we are open and resolving your conflicts via Zoom and in person.
    Looking forward to hearing from you!

    (516) 314-6116 | Sastow@NYMediate.com ​​​​​​​

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