As a divorce mediator and collaborative attorney in New York, I deal with high net worth and low net worth divorce mediations. And when you get down to is, the issues are basically the same. In my experience with all types of situations, I see the same responses in couples: knee-jerk reactions, which I’m going to refer to as “haste makes waste.”
“I’m going through a divorce. Oh my God, help me. Where do I go? What do I do? Who do I turn to?”
So what do you think these emotionally charged people asking these questions do? In many cases, they hire a litigator, and with that, there goes their money; the emotional turmoil escalates, and it’s off to the races with no control over what they’re doing and what their destiny might be otherwise.
My advice to everybody who is contemplating the next steps in getting divorced is:
Take a deep breath. Think. Stop. Slow down. Ask yourself, “What are my priorities? What do I want to do?”
And, sure enough, when you breathe and you take that breath, you’ll say to yourself, “I want the least upheaval. I want to protect my children. How do I do this and waste the least amount of money? What method of divorce will take the shortest amount of time? What do I do? Let me think.”
You can do your own research — there are a lot of websites on mediation and collaborative divorce (including mine at www.SastowMediation.com). Go ahead and read the Frequently Asked Questions, and you’ll gain a lot of knowledge on the mediation and collaborative process and then you can decide what’s best for you.
There are three different ways to get divorced, and depending on which way you’d like to do it, you can decide.
- There’s mediation, where you have the most control over your destiny and your finances.
- There’s collaborative practice where you have to have two attorneys. You can do this amicably, though and still have a lot of control over your future and finances.
- And then there’s litigation, where you have almost no control over what you’re doing or where you’re going, a judge making the decisions.
My next videos will go into more depth with further explanations of the three different methods for divorce.
If you’re going through a divorce, don’t panic. If you’d like to know more, feel free to contact me at 516-314-6116 or via my website at www.SastowMediation.com. I’ll be happy to speak with you. Take care until next time.