Whether we like it or not, spouses’ differing personalities can lead to significant outsized effects on a marriage and on a relationship. Just like inconsiderate drivers, annoying people first thing in the morning, or people who vent all their anger on innocent retail employees — we move within a sea of personalities.
Divorce mediation and collaborative practice are suited to address almost any problem that surfaces during the division of assets and custody/parenting time — sometimes in partnership with outside experts like divorce financial planners, forensic accountants and therapists. While all of this important work is taking place, the key skill in peacefully resolving disputes is for your mediator or collaborative attorney to understand how to handle the strong undercurrent of the varying personalities that constantly nudge the process in different directions. This skill is often under-appreciated by clients and professionals alike.
I realize now that, from a young age, my own predilections and personal life experience opened my mind to the wide-ranged spectrum of human personalities. I became fascinated with people and psychology, and went on to earn my undergraduate degree in psychology with high honors. This passion would, thereafter, steer my career decisions, particularly as I pursued my Law degree. I availed myself of very specialized training in personalities and in different methodology of negotiating and “getting to the Yes” with all different kinds of people — to help bring parties to an understanding, if not an agreement.
And perhaps I am so attuned to this more personal way of looking at conflicts because of my having lived abroad until I was 16 years old. This instilled in me the instinctual ability to listen and to observe with both a quasi-outsider’s, as well as an insider’s perspective. The result: My ability to be both objective, yet sensitive to my clients’ individual needs. Additionally, as a result of my own terrible divorce litigation experience, along with my prior ten plus years as a litigator, I am all too acutely aware of the major pitfalls and major upheaval of not mediating or collaborating to peaceful closure.
Honing these skills, unintentionally from a young age, and intentionally later through education and professional experience, provided me with the critical tools necessary to become one of the few New York Accredited Divorce Mediators with the New York State Counsel of Divorce Mediators and one of the first trained Office of Court Administration Collaborative Practice Attorneys. I can help you navigate your journey through divorce, relieving you of much of the stress and tension of litigation. If you’re looking to resolve complex conflicts and simultaneously save time, save money, stop the pain, and divorce peacefully, give me a call today at 516.314.6116 and let me help you.
Divorce Peacefully. Yes, it can be done!
